Uh oh, I was just reading this interview, You might wanna look away now haha. John Mayer has never been more of a dick than now!
I mean yes the cover of the mag was HOT! The interview…Wasnt?
First things first though, he’s still pining for his ex Jennifer Aniston…
“I’ve never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life… I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I’ve had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**king fantastic, if I said to her, I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.”
And in case Jen reads that and thinks, “Aw, maybe I should give John another go,” here’s the reason(s) why she shouldn’t.
On his sex life becoming an endless loop of new girls rejecting him in clubs:
“Blowing me off is the new sucking me off!”
On finding a girlfriend:
“Do you think it’s going to take meeting someone who I admire more than I admire myself? But isn’t it also about a beautiful vagina? Aren’t we talking about a matrix of a couple of different things here? Like, you need to have them be able to go toe-to-toe with you intellectually. But don’t they also have to have a vagina you could pitch a tent on and just camp out on for, like, a weekend? Doesn’t that have to be there, too? The Joshua Tree of vaginas?
On his relationships:
“All I want to do now is f*ck the girls I’ve already f*cked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them, and they’re going, But you’re John Mayer! So I’m going backwards to move forward. I’m too freaked out to meet anybody else.”
“I am the new generation of masturbator. I’ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week.”